Jeff Foxworthy on Indiana
If Jeff Foxworthy had lived in Indiana, he'd probably have a routine like this...
If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't work there,
you might live in Indiana.
- If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of
his forehead, you might live in Indiana.
- If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might
live in Indiana.
- If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
dialed a wrong number, you might live in Indiana.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Hoosier WHEN:
- Vacation means going north or south on I 65 for the weekend.
- You measure distance in hours.
- You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
- You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again.
- You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard, without flinching.
- You see people wearing camouflage at social events including
- You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
- You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how
to use them.
- You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
- You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter,
road construction, & It's Hot.
- Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
your blue spruce.
- Down south means Kentucky to you.
- A brat is something you eat.
- Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
- You go out to a tailgate party every Friday.
- You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
- You find 0 degrees a "little chilly".
- You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all
your Indiana friends.